This second is the only thing you have left!

Now it is time to realise ‘who’ you are. In fact now it is the only moment you have. This is the opportunity to realise who you are, every split second of your life! Not next year. Now. It is on the tip of your nose. And still many of you follow a road in time to get somewhere: waiting for some spiritual big bang to happen. . First you have to work hard, then you might get what you want to have. If you need more time, no worries. There will be a ‘ next life ‘ with again plenty of time to finnish the quest for Life. This time-related thinking is a huge trap all seeker will have to face and challenge.


A: How do you see your progress towards your enlightenment? Getting there?

Osho („Rajneesh“ Chandra Mohan Jain)

Osho (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Q: I know you try to catch me into something.


A: Why should I? I mean it serious. I want to know how you think about your own progression!

Q: Every time I think it’s getting clear ‘who I am’ there seems more left to discover. At least it feels that way. For instance I still keep making endless unwanted Identifications with my life. Its is too hard to realise myself all the time. Permanent I mean. Somehow I know, that’s for sure, but it seems not enough to make a final ‘jump’.

A: This is really enough to know who you are. I agree that it is very hard to leave the position of the person, or the idea of an ego behind. The mind is cunning, even when there is no mind. :.)). It is you, the Idea itself that creates a you struggling to become enlightened in timeline.

When I put the question to the table: how are you doing on ‘your ‘ path to enlightenment you all try to explain me that there are still many things left to find out. We love to read and talk about great masters, like Buddha or Osho. I see more quotes of them both then you yourself have spoken words in your entire life. True, these great masters were wonderful, but they are gone. They are dead. I understand why you love to read them, but at the same time you idolize them when it comes to a spiritual Life. You often adore them so much that you use them to create new obstacles to instant realisation. I am more interested in the person who sends the quotes around than the teachers themselves.


Q: Still I am looking up to them, They are such good examples of great teachers. I still love to listen to the great talks of Osho. They inspire me. It is like I feel so much more at the point of coming home when I hear him talking.

A: Put all books and tapes aside and start realising yourself: now. You all act like hikers going for the horizon. It is always far away, but one day. You will never ever get there. There always will be a horizon. There always will be a new opportunity, a next life probably. You surely will need a hundred lives to reach the status of the great Teachers. It s always in the future. So let me ask you again: do you realise now who you are?

Q: Hmm, yes, but….

A: Stop walking!


Q: How?

A: This moment, this very second is all you have. Everything has gone. Just this very moment is present. Realise that. No time, no space, no Idea’s. Leave them out. be silent for a while and tell me what you see now.

English: Painting of the parinirvana of Gautam...

English: Painting of the parinirvana of Gautama Buddha. Sanskrit Astasahasrika Prajnaparamita Sutra manuscript written in the Ranjana script. Nalanda, Bihar, India. Circa 700-1100 CE. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Q: I feel happy and silent.

A: Great. wonderful. Stay like that. This silence is still seen by you. This inner-peace is still felt by you. There is still a feeling of someone watching over all your non-actions. Go more into that. Take in the position of the watcher. Be the watcher and then become active. Grab this with whole of your heart. Get drunk into this active watching. There will be a moment you will stop running and you give up on looking. You will realise into awareness that YOU are awareness.

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In your finest hour there is no one left to celebrate

Nederlands: Alexander Smit

Alexander Smit 1948 1998 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Lately I have been reading  many personal stories on weblogs and internet pages about the spiritual progression people think they make. Some of them are great tales about wonderful experiences, achieved as presents from the streams of Life. Reading them there is one thing that will always worry me the most. So the following is very important  to take in when you want to grow your understanding on ‘who am I’.

Q: You, worrying?

A: Actually yes, because often these stories show evidence of the most cunning devastating trap for the spiritual seeker to be experienced. My teacher, Alexander Smit already warned his students for making a touch down, or better making a free fall. And he was so right, because I often encounter the comfort-zone  people take place into after some so-called spiritual experience.

Q: What you mean? I had some great enlightening moments. Moments of pure bliss and serenity.

A: I am glad for you. Hope they were great fun. Did they change your perspective? Did you grow? Did you became more clear about self-realisation.

Q: Are you questioning my experiences.?

A: Not at all. But your wonderful experiences are at the same time huge roadblocks on your path. Its like if you are making a journey and now and then you mark the road. From there you plan ahead a new part of your trip. This is ok when you are learning some skill, but on the road to self-realization you can’t make any markers. Your road should remain marker free. In fact it is not even a road!

Q: Still my path feels like a journey. I know more than a while ago.

A: Sure you know more than before. Now notice yourself how easy you have made a concept out of your experiences. You got new plants for your garden and you gave them immediately a place. That is very nice of you, but it is better to keep your garden open and fresh as it was on day one. Enjoy the experience and go on. I know it is the hardest thing to do on your path, but it is necessary. Its like winning the olympics and then putting all fame and glory aside. Again you have to work hard to win the next game. It starts all over again.

Remember the buddhist monks making their beautiful mandala’s with fine chalk. In the end they just fade away their painting and start all over. Don’t make a touch down. Enjoy the experience. No matter how extraordinary your experience was: lights, clearness, deja vu’s, whatever. Don’t use them to make a couple of Idea’s on how spiritual you are becoming.

I also don’t want to discourage you on the insights you have gained during your journey  Go on taking your new perpectives slowly one by one. Have faith, one day all this knowing will end up into a deeper understanding. A silent being, called YOU.

‘ My awakening ‘, ‘ My fifth stage ‘ . I feel sorry for them. There is no I that ever will be awaken. There is no one around to reach a fifth stage. It has never happened and never will be. Self-realisation is giving  up. Nothing will be left. No party, no participant. You give up all Idea’s, Thoughts, Experiences. In your finest hour there is no one left to celebrate.

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Awareness, Intuition. You are not around.


Intuition (TNT album)


In answer to reactions on my post on ‘Intuition’ I feel urged to explain that indeed there is a difference between an impulse we can follow or not, and real Intuition that let no other options.


In the first situation we often say: ah, I should have followed ‘ my ‘ first hunch, but I didn’t. Now the outcome is not so good ‘.Real Intuition is when the sudden impulse or awareness turns into immediate action. Awareness and action happen in the very same moment. There is no experiencer around to question the impulse. No you is no thoughts, no choices.


Impulse by memory


Lets say you go on a holiday. The car is packed and you and your family hit the road. After about half an hour you suddenly feel shocked: you forgot to put out the fire under the kettle. You were boiling water for coffee. Now you are worried you still left the gas of the cooker on. You feel a strong urge to go back to check the cooker on your sudden hunch.


You start to share your concerns with your partner. She tries to make you feel at ease with the fact that she did a last check up before you all left the house. But hey, wasn’t it you who was the last one working with the cooker? Your partner tries to take away your concerns. The whole trip you are doubting your view. Still the alarming Hunch is there. When you have reached your destination you call your neighbour to check the cooker. And yes, the fire was still on. Then you blame yourself for not having returned home. What if?


THIS is NOT INTUITION. It’s an impulse, a good one, but not Intuition. Why not? There is still a you around to doubt your strong hunch. The impulse was just coming from a more unconscious part of your brain. Somehow you knew you had not turned of the fire. And you didn’t act because you had more possibilities. There was still a ‘you’, between impulse and reaction and that gave you options, too many.


Intuition is Direct Response


INTUITION or Direct Response is the immediate impulse in action. Can you imagine what have happened when this would have happened in relation to the Fire on the cooker? You would have returned immediately. Your wife would be flabbergasted, perhaps shocked by the action.


The more you give up (on you), this phenomena will occur. Its amazing where it can take you. Don’t be afraid and let yourself go. It’s all about giving up control. Its like giving birth and place to a new Life. Point is you can’t ‘ do ‘. It happens when the time is right!




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What is Intuition ?


‘Use your first impulse’, be receptive. It’s some advice you get when you want to know what Intuition is. Now you are still full of different thoughts, but when you start to meditate, you become at ease. Then you will get struck by lightning now and then and you will get answers to all of your questions. It sounds promising. So why not? There is just one big problem to it. When everything becomes clear and receptive, you won’t be available to accept the newborn skill we like to call Intuition. Let me explain this to you in this conversation.


Q: Is it true that on the path of self-realisation you get more open to direct answers on all sort of questions. Does your intuition become more awaken?

A: Its impossible!

Q: why?…Your answers can be pretty direct and very much to the point on a questioners situation!

A: I still tell you it is impossible that you become more receptive to direct responses on the path of realising YOURself. On the contrary, there will be no you left to accept the newborn skill. Let me give you a question in return.

“Lets say you suffer from illness. You are standing in front of a garden. There is a variety of a thousand plants available. Only one can give you the cure. How would you know wich one to pick? “

Q: I would meditate a while till I would feel wich one to choose.

A: That is what you are learned to do. You start to relax yourself, no thoughts and then all of a sudden you would go for it. But no, that’s not even half way, sorry. Look at animals. I love cats: when they feel sick in their stomach they start eating grass. Who told them to? It is amazing how animals can cure themselves with the correct plant. It is not about instinct. It is about direct response. My cat doesn’t think, he responds. There is no in between. There is no meditation. There is no Intuition.

Saab 95 SportCombi Sweden

Saab 95 SportCombi Sweden (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Q: So what would you call direct response then?

A: It is 20 years ago I bought my first SAAB. I had been to Sweden on a wonderful trip and suddenly I exposed myself to all kind of impressions about Sweden. There was Sweden on TV, on the radio, the newspaper, I knew a swedish girl, blond of course, Sweden was all around in the center of my attention. How amazing. Perhaps it is a sign! I am in tune! A friend of a friend was driving an old SAAB. I drove it a few times. And there my desire to have one myself was born. I didn’t realise that time it was just the cunning mind that lured me into one. Soon enough I had my first SAAB and I really thought this was the best car in the world. But is that true. Is it?

With the kind of coincidences I called Intuition those days my preference for SAAB was born, but with that knowledge I would never have picked the correct plant like I ask you to do now. Remember its one out of a thousand plants.

Q: So what to do then?

A: Yes, it is correct that on the path of self-realisation instant Knowing, more often shows up. It is beyond intuition. It’s about Life presenting itself in an immediate fresh way. You and the view are one at that moment, undivided. Today I realise my SAAB didn’t find me. It was my Idea of a desire that found a SAAB.

Standing in front of the garden a plant would pick me. It’s not that I would be particular fond of just that one plant amongst a thousand others. No plant would step forward and present itself. Instead I would KNOW. For instance, immediately a view of a plant would show up like a vivid unexpected memory. It would be something about healing plants. I would have been reading about plants years ago, waiting for my check-up in the dentist office. That memory would become so alive and present that I even would remember every single detail of the waiting room. The other patients, the magazines. The presence of that view would be so strong that it had become like a giant stone, stopping any other move. I would take no action to move it. Without hesitation the plant was picked out of the thousand other plants. In one single moment.

It was all about the plant presenting itself with a vivid undoubtedly strong presence that would have faded away every other possibility in existence. Now you also realise how amazing animals are. Observe them, they are pure.

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The conductor and the orchestra become One

It is your deeper hunger for Knowledge that urges you to self-experience. But first once you have become aware of ”the path to Insight’ , Life will unfold itself dramatically for you. It will start to tell you its secrets. It will let you be, it will let you see. For instance at first when you suddenly need a new house you would start worrying about finding one. This emotion is your own self-created set of Idea’s. Once you ‘know’ houses will go and come like the rain comes and goes. You won’t control your life anymore. You give it up. You will be out of control. Your world will immediately fill in what is needed. You will realise then: the world, everything that is available in YOU is part of the self-created existence.

During the course of actions Life will give you time to reflect. The world will bow to you. Slowly, but radically your life appears to change like a new theater decoration-set. Often life takes away old and rusty parts. A relationship that suddenly doesn’t suit you anymore, a job that gives you no longer the inspiration. The difference with a real crisis is that you know it has to be like that. It lets you smile. Even on moments that would have led you into depression without notice.

This is because you realise you are part of the changing decoration. You are about to give up yourself. You become part of the whole. Then when the new parts of your existence slowly but certainly arrive, you become more and more part of the path you follow.

The conductor and the orchestra become one

The muddy track in the wilderness becomes plastered with beautiful marble. You start to say YES. You know this is more YOU. I don’t mean the ‘you’ with all your small wishes and desires. I really mean YOU, the center of the universe. Sometimes it still can be strange to find yourself involved in daily affairs that you could never have dreamed of before. They will easily fill in the blanks.

You will get attracted to all sort of new activities. Often you wonder your hands are picking up a new skill, and you love it. You travel to new countries, meet new people, hear of inspirational insights on all matters. Most of all resistance is fading away besides all other rusty parts.

Resistance is no longer part of your life. Not that you don’t have your preferences. You still have them. They even become more You. They have found strong roots. It is that you no longer speak out of old opinions on ‘what you were told’ to think. In this ever lasting existence you will become the conductor and the orchestra at the same time. You lead on and you will be showed. Then you realise, YOU are the creator of the universe.

STOP thinking, invite YOU on stage!

Q: Recently on my work I was urged to be more open-minded. I was too much focussed on my own principles. I should become more open to the perspectives of co-workers.

A: In this question I notice quite a few assumptions. No worries. I hear them all the time. It’s so modern to be more ‘open minded ‘ or ‘ be more focussed ‘. They are calender-wisdoms.

First of all: there is no mind at all. So there also can’t be any set mindset. And to be more focussed on it, is quite a stupid action so to say. Or you would like to work with something you just pretend there is?

Q: Still I think, and I have to do this for my work. I often have to make calculations and I use my mind for it.

A: There is NO mind !

Q: So what am I doing then?

A: You tell me?

Q: Using my brains to think.

A: Why you think?


Q: Because I have to

A: You don’t have to when you don’t need to. It’s your idea that you have to. We send our children into school at around the age of 4 and we slowly bring them into sleep. They start not only to learn good skills like reading or writing, but also we make them learn to be thinkers. Thinking will become THE TOOL to survive during your life. That is how we are programmed. Your work will be based on how well you can THINK. That all the major problems in the world are not solved by thinking is something we can see on a daily base. Actually world-problems will never be solved by thinking. One thought will lead to another thought and when we have reached a solution, some other thought is needed to encounter a new situation. Thinking is a never-ending story. There never will be a perfect answer that will lead us into endless glory and salvation.

To think you will need a thinker. And that is what we create: a thinker. A thinker creates a place to survive, your ego or mind. A spot in our head, our brain, were we develop thoughts. That is what we think. Thoughts that will lead into idea’s about us, who we are, what we do, our work and all kind of perspectives. We try to become better in it. We even give out nobel-prices and build statues for our greatest thinkers. In the end it has brought us nothing.


Q: Still there are many inventions, created by thinkers. Architects, Technicians. I don’t agree with you that thinking is a waste.

A: I knew you would go there!

The best architects have visions. Einstein had visions of our universe. Visions go way beyond Thought. The greatest inventors, in history and today are visionaries. They try to ‘understand ‘ what is urging them to create. Then they use skills to get them to a next part of the puzzle. Mathematics is a skill. Its something you can learn to be able to construct a building, a railroad, a plane. I am always surprised to see how my supermarket is filled with thousands of products. Always available. One day I tried to calculate how many people it would involve to fill up my supermarket. Perhaps even a billion. The logistic is amazing. But its a skill, a tool. And a good one too.


Q: So what is the difference between the open mind and your logistics?

A: When you make calculations you use a skill, mathematics. When I talk to you I use my knowledge of language. So speaking my language is a skill I have learned! Swimming is a skill. So is walking! Calculating is a skill.

I AM not my SKILLS. So I have no spot in my head called a mind from where I use my skills. I just use them!. I have learned to use skills in Life and they become in handy. Again those skills are memorised and of course my brain made connections, but I am not my brain!

A created mind is the leader of all thoughts. It has nothing to do with skills! It has nothing to do with the perspective of the world you have. It lets you believe there is something with your name on it: you amongst all other things. And that is not the case. So use your skills instead of creating a non-existent Mind. There was no mind, never, and never will be.

Q: So what to do then?

A: When you drop the idea of separation. When you start to live the joy of being ONE you will no longer have a mind of your own. You use your skills when you need them and lay them apart when no longer needed. You become quiet, peaceful. You become available. In fact you come to the point that you will find out that you are already open, available: idea’s come and go, positions are easily changed, views and opinions invited and left behind. You will then be into an ever lasting dance with Life. You will KNOW.



Important: it ‘s about Touch!

What we need to understand on the path of self-realisation is that everything experienced is part of you, and does exist only just because of YOU. No senses, no world. This awareness is the constant factor in the endless ever-changing dance of the materialised Idea. In the following conversation I give you something important to read that can help you to ‘ understand ‘who YOU are.

A:Let me give you a hand. What do you feel?

Q:Hehe. You want to trick me. Lets find a clever answer. Hmm, your hand is warm. Not to big…

A:Wait, that’s not what I ask. I asked you: serious, what do you feel when I give you a hand.

Q:Let me see. Personal touch, good feelings, Connection…


A:First of all you try to ‘think’ about an answer, that is part of the problem. Never mind. You can go into what my hand means to you. Perhaps it reminds you to another hand. It can take you into several memories. Whatever the idea’s you will come up with, it will be far beyond what you really feel. And that is in fact the problem living the life of a person, living the life of someone being separated from all objects around yourself, your world. In fact it takes you so far away, as an idea, from what you really are, that you come into trouble. You are traveling way beyond the edge of the world, attracted to new boundaries.

You can stay in that forever, but one day I guarantee you, YOU will find your way home.


Q: What should have been the correct answer?

A: You sound like a monk asking his master what should have been the answer to his Koan. Take what I just told you into consideration and try me out. What do you feel when I give you a hand. Come up, I give you my handshake. Just be honest with your answer.

Q: I try to feel. Not to interfere with thoughts of any kind. It is my hand that feels your hand. Basically there is just the sensation of touch.

A: There is touch. We agree on that, but let’s have a look at ‘touch’ . It’s impossible to feel my hand. What you feel is basically the image you have of my hand. When your hand is particular soft and mine is rough, the contrast will make you think I work as a contractor. Now when you would have rough hands yourself, perhaps your views would be different again. The way you Sense the world is based on the position you take towards the world.

Q: You always say that when you take the right position, there is no other world, just you.

A: Then why are you talking about feeling ‘ my hand’, because in the right position there is no other hand!

Q: It’s just a matter of speaking!

A: It’s this ‘ matter of speaking’ that gets you into trouble! You go to ‘your teacher’ in the outer world. That is what you think. You and the outside world. In the right position there is no outer world. There is no world other than you. In your dreams you travel the whole world and timelines in 8 hours. Still you don’t think you have been in Japan and Holland in the same night: it all was a dream. So why not live the same way during the waking state?

Q: Because I can’t be in Japan and Holland at the same time like in my dreams.


A: This state seems to have some rules of its own. Well, you think they have rules of its own. Lets get deeper into this.

Q: So by holding your hand there is just the sensation of feeling.

A: Now we are getting there. There is the sensation of touch. You will never experience the sensation of my hand. YOU just FEEL what YOU EXPERIENCE. You feel you. Not my hand. Hand, two hands, experience in touch and all in one creation! It has all become one: the experience and the one who experience it become one..

In fact there is just sensation, made possible by senses, appearing into YOU. This YOU we call Consciousness itself. When you meditate about it, you might reach the point where you can be in Japan and Holland at the same time, because everything is YOU at the same time, at the same place as in everywhere.