Q: I suffer from depressions. From the doctor I got medication and I went to a therapists. He advises me to find another job. A workplace that is more to my liking.
A: Why are you telling me this? Come on, what is the reason to bring it up during our talks on the subject ‘ who am I ‘?
Q: Yeah well, I know it might not has to do with this meeting. Sorry.
A: You already brought it on the table. So once again I ask you: why are you telling me this.
Q: Hmm. I have been reading that a depression is just something from the mind. And you are not willing to talk about problems from the mind. But…
A: But what?..
Q: The treatment, the talks with my therapists. You know, they are all meant to help me, but I know for sure that they have nothing to do with life-related issues.
A: How are you so sure they are not?
Q: I can’t find answers in the help my therapist gives me. Sure I agree my current job is not giving me any satisfaction anymore, I surely could do with a new challenge, but I think it’s not the source of my depression. I went on a short holiday to Italy and I had a wonderful time enjoying the sun and the blue mediterranean. Still, so calmed down by the easy-going stay, the food, the culture, my company, a desolated feeling of loneliness and despair didn’t went away. The sea was so blue and the waves so relaxing, that it really was just a matter of time and my depression should have eased. But no, it was there 24/7 and despite I had some great moments in general I got overruled by dark and gloomy feelings.
A: A lot of people suffer from depressions in their lives. Usually it starts so around the age of 35. When we are young we still have our dreams about our future. We have an idea we can become anything, get all the partners we want. The Sky is the limit when we are young. Soon we will settle down in a true believe of building up certain structures to help ourselves survive.
It is very common to build up so-called secure structures between the first half of our lives. With the growing structures we easily lose a majority of our freedom of movement. Our childhood oftentimes gives us more freedom than we ever will find later on in live. I am not talking about possible difficult circumstances: parents divorcing, poverty but even then our future is still so much open to imagination.
Sooner or later our lives become ‘ secured ‘ and the only adventures we might encounter are when we see our lives again through the eyes of our children. In reaction we will question our secure circumstances: we change partners, profession, home and lifestyle. This can happen a few times and most of us are very succesful keeping up a happy life.
People like you in particular become aware that changing life-circumstances might be a good idea, but to give a longterm solution to uncomfortable feelings it is not always the answer.
Q: There are also people who need medication to conquer depression. So it is not always mental.
A: I don’t rule out that this is the case for some people. There are clear phobia’s, and deeper trauma’s. I am not a doctor, and to discuss if medication is a good solution, is not to me. In this answer I am talking about a growing underbelly feeling with no utterly cause that can end up in a serious state of deep depressive mood swings. More and more people Imeet are having problems like you describe. They immediately invite, or better said, urge you to ‘ look inside ‘ and to find out ‘ who am I ‘.
NB. This subject points direct to the question ‘ who am I ‘ . In a follow-up I go deeper into this and will explain you how I had to deal with a long period of depressions.