Acceptance is NOT the key!

Q: A few days ago I saw the text “acceptance is the key.” Still it is hard to accept the situation my life is currently in. I lost my job, and I it is not easy to find another job. I am worried how to pay my bills in the near future.


A:I would suggest to you ‘NOT TO ACCEPT ‘. It’s a word, it means nothing. It’s just like you’ve just lost a soccer match and you say to your fellow players: hey, don’t you worry, just accept it and go on. Accept it. The other day my postman asked me to accept a parcel: are you able to accept this parcel?. I could have said; No. But why would I, because then I should have made a trip to the postoffice to collect it. So accepting the mail was the only option for me. And I think the best one! So yes, my mail I can accept, but to accept Life? No! Acceptance is like a hollow phrase. It has lost all possible meaning. You can accept your mail, not your Life.

You just lost your job. This means action. Life is asking you for a reaction. You have to act deliberately. Now the news of losing the job is behind you. The emotions have done their work. You have to get yourself together. You can relieve your stress on several ways. Go walking, jogging, Yoga. You can benefit of that all. This has nothing to do with acceptance. What did you say to your former boss? Thank you, I accept it gracefully? Or what did you do?


Q: I felt shocked indeed and told him he was putting me into big trouble, because I have a family to feed. I was very pissed off as well by the sudden message of losing the job. No I was not happy at all.


A: But did you accept it?


Q: Sure I did. What could I do?


A: Did you really accept it like I am talking about accepting the Parcel the mailman had for me? I had no emotions at that moment. Sure, I was happy getting the new supply for my tv, but that was that. It was no big deal. I was not getting a legal letter of justice by the taxman. It just was something small: a television-cable. How nice. How useful. I simply accepted it.


Q: No, I felt raged, angry and a bit out of control with mixed emotions! I could have slammed doors, and smashed my briefcase down the hall, but most of all I felt really miserable.


A: Wonderful! Yes wonderful, because that is where Life has put you all of a sudden. The whole system comes into action. That is not acceptance! That is not saying thank you to the postman!

I call it EXPERIENCE. You exactly did what you had to do: reacting and experiencing at the same time. This means you are alive! And still you experience it by reminding yourself of that precious moment. Yes, I call it precious because it let you experience YOU in all your true nature This is what Life is all about: EXPERIENCE.


Life will let you feel. It is like a dance. Sometimes we dance for joy and other times we cry for pain. That is how it is. I often notice we try to give this a place, a spot to hide it. We say: accept your life. how it is. In this manner, acceptance is like giving up on life. I know people who say: I have a few terrible relationships behind me. And now a friend says: perhaps you better live on your own with your cats, because relationships bring you notorious trouble. Accept that you are better of on your own.

Oh, this is so wrong. This is a very bad advice, because it seems that relationships have to give you experience. They will appear into your Life giving you again and again a sort of EXPERIENCE. You don’t have to look for it. It will be in front of you any time you like it. LIFE is EXPERIENCE. A DIRECT INVITATION TO SELF-REALISATION!


2 thoughts on “Acceptance is NOT the key!

  1. Enjoying your blog. You have clear insight into various issues. A welcome offering to the blogging world I might add!

    Perhaps just to add to already wise advice we might view the whole situation from another angle. Life is experience that arises into multiplicity through the duality of pleasure and suffering life flows back to its source. Whether we are in a moment of intense joy or excruciating suffering there is always a clear and present pointing back to the source.

    Losing a job is a welcome gift in one sense. It allows us to discriminate clearly between what is ever-present and change-less. Arisings such as a job are never permanent realities. They only appear lasting to the apparent person. When events rise and fall we are in a position to recognize what remains, the true Self – the Atman.

    When this realization dawns due to the recognition of what is real we are able to approach the experiences of life from a new perspective. We learn, the hard way, that clinging to our jobs, in this case, cause us continuous suffering. A release from one job should move one to fervently seek a new one, one that will expand the possibilities of further experience. This does not “accept” the loss of a job it “reacts” to the event as you suggest! Acceptance in such cases becomes a clever veiling for denial.

    Though it may be an illusion in the last analysis, losing a job, trying to feed the family, and so on it still appears in the present moment. The key is to take advantage of this moment and allow ones apparent choices to lead to a fuller experience of life. The main area of suffering manifests as “I” am suffering. Rather than utilize the mind in senseless games of “I” am suffering use it rather as a tool to move forward and seek better employment.

    Thanks for this post my friend. Keep up the good work.


  2. really enjoyed this post. So much of what is preached by others is a kind of strange ‘accept your lot’ and other such high horse comments – the buddha did not accept his lot, demanded his right to freedom … and found it. We can do it. An inspired post. Look forward to reading more! More.

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