Lately I wrote a piece on the subject of Choice. In this part I will give you a follow-up. I know it will help you a great deal by understanding that having to make a Choice is no freedom at all. Having the right to Choose directions in your life is expressing the problem. First there is just the Idea of a separate you and then we create Choices to make as part of that freedom. Its like running around in a gigantic maze, being so happy that you are able to go right or left. You would help yourself more by taking the only path : NO WHERE TO GO, NO WHERE TO BE.
Q:Last time you talked about ‘ Choices ‘. I understand that easily when you talk about just the little things like the choice of food. At the same time Life often have put me on bigger Choices, like a job I should take or not, or if I should have a divorce or not.
A: First I give you a short answer: there is no difference at all between small and big choices.:Period. Let me tell you a story and ask you this time something about it, first.
Years and years ago I was about to go on holiday by car. One day before departure I had not made up my mind where to go to. I could go to England. The English countryside is great and I love the small villages. It’s very humble, but the weather was unstable and rain wasn’t something I was looking forward to. Other possibility were Germany and Austria. I really like these countries as well. I feel at home in Germany. My son is german even. I could go to France, Scandinavia. My thoughts were going over end over. Finally I went to France. For a few days I was driving to north and south and back, making mileage. Within five days I got home again. I was still as restless as it could be. Later on I realised I was very tired. Too tired to travel.
So what do you think I should have done?
Q: You should have stayed home, obviously.
A: Haha. No, I have done exactly the only thing that was meant to be done. My tour de force around France was exactly it. And this is why I give you this example. It’s so weird to drive around 2000 km, to end up at the start within short notice. This is what we would call not normal. In to what we call abnormal we often say: this is a mistake. We should have done it the other way around.
Q: still it took me more than a year to finally decide to divorce my wife. It wasn’t a decision I could make in a second. That Choise took a lot of time to make.
A: Matters of the heart are very difficult to understand when you need to see them in the department of ‘ who am I ‘ You have to realise that the Love you feel for someone is all based on feelings. These feelings are part of the mind, there where your idea’s are made. In Advaita Vedanta we don’t want to interfere with the experiences ‘ Love ‘ will give to you. Quite the contrary: the experience is a direct possibility to get to KNOW yourself.
The body-mind structure has its own agenda. The whole world of objects, all based on thoughts, is dancing in an everlasting waltz of change. Some people will stay with their partner a life-time. Others will have relationships by the change of the season. It’s the movement of the world of objects. Just don’t get involved.
At the moment you put it in the world, and leave your husband, it is already meant to be like that. If you would have stayed with him, it would have been like that. There already has been a moment, a first little impression, as tiny as it was, it made you question your relationship. Obviously the first fling of a moment passed you by, but that was THE moment you knew your relation would come to an end. We are not used to react on direct impulse. You have put it aside. You are not used to it. Specially not on the matters of the heart. It’s therefore that for most people, the road towards divorce is a harsh one. At the same time the emotions are always THE invitation to feel. Do this as a watcher. Don’t get involved.
It’s perhaps not easy to understand. So I will tell you more soon enough: promised