Q: This far I have been doing a lot of activities to understand ‘Who I Am” . Can you explain me where this urge to understand this search is coming from? I mean, from the moment I wake up till I lay myself asleep, I am busy looking for answers. It is keeping me busier and busier.
A: Asking the question ‘ Who Am I ‘ is already a wrong assumption, because there is no I to be found. That what you basically call I is just an idea. In fact it really is not there. Still its THE Question for all of us to arise in our lives. Usually at first we encounter the I in the form of a person with a personality. So we start to work on our self. This is even more schizophrenic , because now a non-existing I is looking for a better personality. Well, it’s never too late to start to be kind for the people around you, to put the trash bin outside in time to be collected, to work on a better environment. No doubt about that.
On a Personal level
We all have a fragrance of ourselves. And we can learn to use or refurbish some of our behaviour-patterns for the sake of the world around us. But hey, these are all qualifications on the part of the so-called personality. It’s wonderful to develop your personality, while learning many skills that can enrich life itself. All this has nothing to do with the question ‘who am I’ in a more spiritual sense. Now this is still all happening on the level of a world of objects. Each and all existing in separation. Please, don’t mix yourself, being an object between objects in a so-called world with your inner search at the other hand.
On a spiritual path it even can become more trickier. The cunning mind, the I in optima forma, is now clean available to find him, or herself a new Toy. How can I exchange myself into something beyond imagination. We start to meditate, do Yoga, become Buddhists, practice Reiki, visit very instructive teachers, we eat vegetarian food and go around the globe.
This first steps we consciously seem to take on the path to enlightenment is at the same time the biggest obstacle to take. We try to polish the ‘I ‘ into some better shape, into some future hope for pureness. I have to be honest to you. For nearly all of us it’s during this first period of self-examination often an escape of our live-conditions. We don’t want to get hurt by life obstacles. We just want to shine, be happy and want ourselves to be free of all earthly sins and troubles. Somehow we start to build the idea that the better me we are creating, is a promise to a better daily life. A future life without sorrow. A Life that blossoms 24/7 without hesitation. It’s a way to create a happy life. Ok with me, but its only a first step.
You, the I or Ego like you prefer to say, is getting trapped. Basic questions of life are answered by the sayings of guru’s, Yoga postures, and other idea’s how a world of spiritual happiness can become a road to self realisation. Again, don’t understand me wrong. We all have made our first steps to real Knowledge with some sort of usually eastern method. And I will encourage it to the fullest. Go for it, enjoy it. The ‘object ‘of your search will knock on your door. No doubt about it. And it comes into many shapes and colours. Life seems to have an individual approach for Enlightenment for everyone. It’s a miracle. Just don’t make this path into a personal religion. It will fool you to the fullest.
When your Spiritual life becomes more or less equal to your more mundane daily activities it can go two ways from there. You start to enjoy your new-found Lifestyle with sometimes a bit redecorating, or still there is this empty feeling inside you. This hunts you down. Life looks perfect but still. On that very moment You will absolutely make a next move. Sometimes unaware of the change. More often Life lets you feel its presence. You sudden realise it all brought you to No Where. That is exactly the place you want yourself to be for the next step.
PART 2: ( in a few days available)