Something Pure, Spontaneous, New and Fresh!

Q: Why is it so hard for me to get an understanding of the question “Who Am I’ ? The harder I try to get it, the more complicated it seems to be. You seem to ask for a deeper understanding, and at the same time I have to drop all Idea’s I have on this world. More specific do we have to get rid of the concepts we make of ourselves in particular!?


A: It’s no problem to explain it to you once again. It’s not so easy to grab it. So no worries. It’s like that you have lost your car-key. You just had it in your hand. Now you don’t remember where you put it. You keep looking and looking for it and when you ultimately find the key, the spot where it lies is very obviously. One moment of inattention made you put the wallet on a forgotten spot.

And so it is with losing the happiness in your life. Often it all starts to tickle with a vague sense of missing something. No longer changing partners, houses or jobs will work to fill up that gap. Hey, but how do you know you are missing something in the first place? You can only miss something, well …, that you miss! This means you once had something, lost it and now you’re looking for it like the first Love that did you blossom as a Teenager. Something Pure, Spontaneous, New and Fresh. And now all that you renew in your life ends up into more of the same. And that is not encouraging.


My first suggestion to you is: don’t change your life as it is now at this very moment. Of course changes are natural in the process of life. Everything is on the move constantly like energy from A to B and vice versa. So don’t interfere this process of change for the sake of spirituality. There is no need for that. You don’t have to find another more ‘spiritual ‘ partner or become a vegetarian to find an answer to Your Quest. Yesterday I had a nice encounter with a man, who’s daily livelihood is collecting and delivering pigs for the meat-industry. His warm presence was for me way to prefer above some new age people I’ve met that tried to endorse me to a strict and rigid regime of so-called spiritual behaviour patterns. Sorry for the restrictive answer, but the search for Truth itself has no dogmatic patterns. Really, for the matter of finding answers on the subject ‘who am I’ Life has no pre-conditioned terms.


Q:So what can I do then?


A:Start observing the process of thinking and feeling. They both are the one and the same and therefore not to unwire. Its very common to urge people to encounter to live with feelings and a ‘open mind ‘ but that’s on a whole other level. I don’t care what you prefer to do. By the way, there is no such a thing as an open mind. We could discuss about the existence of a mind anyhow, but for sure I have never seen an open mind. It’s a closed system. So it doesn’t matter if you visit a few Indian ashram or just do your work as no matter what. Just observe all body-mind activity wherever you are in all circumstances.

Observe it while you are working, eating, relaxing, standing, running, sitting, talking. Just watch yourself like your own shadow. Make yourself the object of Your study. And now it comes: don’t interfere. We love to change things, work out schedules, discipline ourself as if you have to work towards the olympics. Relax, keep a little distance and just watch.


Q:What will happen then? I mean, by observing myself, I am still part of the same body-mind-system!


A:Oh so true you are. You can meditate for 24 hours in a row, and sure you will be quiet. At least for a short period. But still you are behind closed doors, part of the same self-chosen prison. Realise that. Whatever you DO brings you to the edges of your system. It’s impossible that you will be able to escape that fortress. Clean it up, decorate it, but you, in this body structure, will never escape!


Remember, this whole manifestation as part of the world of objects, is an IDEA, a THOUGHT. A thought that became manifest in a world of objects that you call you with a small y. So everything in your prison is the small you. Outside that world is no freedom. So the only thing you can do is: to observe endlessly. Its like the Zen-koan, ‘the goose is out ‘ A Zen master gives a pupil a Koan, a riddle. The master will notice how the pupil will handle the Koan during a certain time-line. This particular Koan tells the following story. There is a bottle, and in the bottle lives a goose. Now the pupil has to ask himself how to free the goose without braking the bottle. In the tradition of Zen you are urged to observe yourself closely. At some point the pupil will KNOW . Then the Goose is out . The master will notice this big step.

This is also what the tradition of Advaita Vedanta is aiming for. So keep living your life and observe it without getting involved. It’s not easy, but at some point YOU will KNOW.


The Cunning Road to Self- realisation: part 2

Last week I got wonderful reactions on the first part of this article. Quite a few have been reading and enjoying it. Thanks for that!. Although last few days were keeping me away from the PC I felt the urge to write down the next part. So lets give it a go!

Q: Is there a single moment that you will know Life starts to show you its real mysteries? How will I know that I reach that final stage?


A: According to my last article there are two stages before the last one jumps in. Well, it just seems that there are two stages prior the one I’m going to talk about now. In fact, there are no stages at all! As soon as life unfolds itself to YOU, you will know that there are no stages and that a mind-trigger created a you into a Body-mind structure, all into some world of objects. Loosing that space-time dilemma will mean: GIVING UP A PERSONAL LIFE. It looks like you had one, but now it has become a tool and not your dictator. And Living with the possibility of using that Tool instead of imprisoning yourself is big fun. I can tell you!

Thinking that your are an individual person living in a world of objects is a very unconscious point of view. As long as you are happy with that, its ok. Who cares. You are living according the street, the group, your own self-made image. And you even sometimes will put a soul into this body according to one or another believe-system. It all seems to fit. When you die the soul goes to Heaven for believers. For atheists here just ends the journey. Both opinions don’t bite each other. Consciousness itself doesn’t matter what you believe to be true.


Spiritual haberdashery


In a second stage you try to cherry up your lives with all kind of spiritual haberdashery. You like to flavor it with oftentimes asian based techniques to make yourselves a better person. You will change your christian-heaven for the idea of hindu reincarnation and it all seems to be fixed and sound after a while. I have to say it again: realise yourself it’s just shifting objects into a more desired life. Sure it all can set you in the right direction. It will make you more alert. It might open your eyes. Then, don’t step into the comfortable trap Its like one of you wrote to me last week: in this stage you THINK you know things, instead of KNOWING.


Q: What can I do to avoid that trap?


A: YOU will have to realise your point of view: CONSCIOUSNESS itself. In the next stage, your Life into perspective will be questioned in a very serious way. We all have our weak-spots or better said: trigger buttons. If one of them is pushed: you will start to tremble and will not know what to do. And those buttons will be pushed by life – events. How beautiful we make our spiritual life with all heart-loving things we so gladly have invited into our lives, at some point this glorious castle will allow some conquerors crushing its doors.

What is Your button? What are you afraid of? Loosing your child? Giving up your comfortable job that gives you a Home, a pension, food on the table? Are you afraid of getting a deadly disease? Ask yourself that question. Be honest. We all have these buttons! Our FEARS are at the same time our natural boundaries. Idea’s have created them carefully. They are there at your request. And just when time is right, like a flower to blossom in the summer, it lets you face and overcome the obstacles.


Q: I get it. I am just an Idea. A Thought itself. Still then I don’t see how to let that Idea to disappear?


A: At a very sudden moment you will experience what I mean by this. When Life pushes your button(s) you will shiver and feel part of something bigger than you. Then you are about to give up you. Life is knocking on your door. When you are ready, Life will let you watch into your basic fears. It will be different for all of us. Life is beautiful: it will give you the experience when you are ready and in a way you can handle it. Often we like to talk about unbearable pain and suffering. In fact there is not such a thing. A teenager is convinced that his life is coming to an end when he gets for the first-time rejected by the girl of his dreams. A pensioner will feel devastated loosing her husband with cancer. For both of them its the impact of the experience that marks your stage of getting to Know who you are. Again, you created your own boundaries yourself to create an idea of certainty, of comfort. Avoiding these edges of the world will keep you happy. Now you will meet them. No doubt about that.


All of the sudden, in a world of disaster, you have nowhere to go. Literary you will not make a move. You don’t Know how to handle. You can’t go out and can’t go in. The person has no choice. The whole system goes beep-beep-beep. Neither this not that. I often laid myself down on my bet and felt like dying. I invited death to come. It was the only thing that was left and would give me a way out. At the same time, my KNOWLEDGE let me see what was happening. It gave me rest. Remember yourself the stories of Odysseus who bound himself to the pole of his ship to be able to hear the Sirens. You might know the wonderful story of JOB: God took all of his possessions, but Job knew he had to stay calm and to live with it. He watched his life, lived it through and got it all back.


All pieces of the puzzle fall into the right place


You will find yourself in a position that witnesses all despair. Your house is on fire, but you stand still and watches the whole process. It’s not always easy. I often felt like the actor John Cusack trapped into a haunted hotel-room. 1408 is a beautiful movie when you can watch it in the ‘who am I perspective. In the end of the movie, totally broken to pieces he gives up surviving and surrenders. Then he awakes: being alive.

You will KNOW when you know. KNOWING is like connecting all dots. You now realise that you are KNOWING itself. The world of duality, your daily life, becomes very clear to you. All pieces of the puzzle fall into the right place. Its complete. Its marvelous. It’s hard to describe. It’s like watching a beautiful picture of a beach and a glorious sunset. Now you KNOW what you ‘feel’. Now you KNOW you are always part of that sunset.You are that Sunset! Over and over again. The watcher on the Hill has become part of that what is being watched. Its fulfilled. Then true Grace and Compassion has been discovered.

The Advaita Vedanta Q&A

I got some Questions about the Q&A form I use for most of my articles. The answer is simple: the Question and Answer form is a part and pure tradition of Advaita Vedanta. It’s in the direct connection between Teacher and Questioner that words will always point to Truth itself. So it’s not the words, it’s that what lies beyond. When you are familiar for example with Shri Nisargadatta Maharaj or Alexander Smit, you already know this. To make it more clear I will put a Q and A in front of the text-parts.

Thanks for your comments. It’s nice to have an audience. Thanks! I would love to answer your questions on the subject ‘I am That’ . You can use the page ‘ Your Questions ‘ to write them to me.



The cunning Road to self realisation, part 1

Q: This far I have been doing a lot of activities to understand ‘Who I Am” . Can you explain me where this urge to understand this search is coming from? I mean, from the moment I wake up till I lay myself asleep, I am busy looking for answers. It is keeping me busier and busier.

A: Asking the question ‘ Who Am I ‘ is already a wrong assumption, because there is no I to be found. That what you basically call I is just an idea. In fact it really is not there. Still its THE Question for all of us to arise in our lives. Usually at first we encounter the I in the form of a person with a personality. So we start to work on our self. This is even more schizophrenic , because now a non-existing I is looking for a better personality. Well, it’s never too late to start to be kind for the people around you, to put the trash bin outside in time to be collected, to work on a better environment. No doubt about that.

On a Personal level

We all have a fragrance of ourselves. And we can learn to use or refurbish some of our behaviour-patterns for the sake of the world around us. But hey, these are all qualifications on the part of the so-called personality. It’s wonderful to develop your personality, while learning many skills that can enrich life itself. All this has nothing to do with the question ‘who am I’ in a more spiritual sense. Now this is still all happening on the level of a world of objects. Each and all existing in separation. Please, don’t mix yourself, being an object between objects in a so-called world with your inner search at the other hand.

On a spiritual path it even can become more trickier. The cunning mind, the I in optima forma, is now clean available to find him, or herself a new Toy. How can I exchange myself into something beyond imagination. We start to meditate, do Yoga, become Buddhists, practice Reiki, visit very instructive teachers, we eat vegetarian food and go around the globe.

Spiritual Steps

This first steps we consciously seem to take on the path to enlightenment is at the same time the biggest obstacle to take. We try to polish the ‘I ‘ into some better shape, into some future hope for pureness. I have to be honest to you. For nearly all of us it’s during this first period of self-examination often an escape of our live-conditions. We don’t want to get hurt by life obstacles. We just want to shine, be happy and want ourselves to be free of all earthly sins and troubles. Somehow we start to build the idea that the better me we are creating, is a promise to a better daily life. A future life without sorrow. A Life that blossoms 24/7 without hesitation. It’s a way to create a happy life. Ok with me, but its only a first step.

You, the I or Ego like you prefer to say, is getting trapped. Basic questions of life are answered by the sayings of guru’s, Yoga postures, and other idea’s how a world of spiritual happiness can become a road to self realisation. Again, don’t understand me wrong. We all have made our first steps to real Knowledge with some sort of usually eastern method. And I will encourage it to the fullest. Go for it, enjoy it. The ‘object ‘of your search will knock on your door. No doubt about it. And it comes into many shapes and colours. Life seems to have an individual approach for Enlightenment for everyone. It’s a miracle. Just don’t make this path into a personal religion. It will fool you to the fullest.

When your Spiritual life becomes more or less equal to your more mundane daily activities it can go two ways from there. You start to enjoy your new-found Lifestyle with sometimes a bit redecorating, or still there is this empty feeling inside you. This hunts you down. Life looks perfect but still. On that very moment You will absolutely make a next move. Sometimes unaware of the change. More often Life lets you feel its presence. You sudden realise it all brought you to No Where. That is exactly the place you want yourself to be for the next step.

PART 2: ( in a few days available)

Open all hours: for Questions!

I am happy to see a steady growing flow of visitors to my ‘ There is Really Nothing to Know ‘ Weblog . In this weblog I give you my view on all there is to be said ‘ About You’ . This in the (non)personal manner, used in the Q&A setting so well-known in the tradition of Advaita Vedanta.

You’ re so Welcome now to give me your own Questions on this subject. I will answer them in my weblog. This in a way, many others will be able to share and pick what is for them. As you read my articles you always notice that I never use the names of the Questioners. And this will stay like that with Your questions. I will also delete them after having them answered.

Just ask your question in the comment-section following this and all other articles.

I would say now: LET THEM COMING

No Objects, no You. No You, no Objects.

‘ What’ is making a Tree to grow. What is letting the Apple tree to blossom? How does a leaf know how to unfold itself. That it is time to show its presence? And where did it all began?

Lets start with the tiny little seed in the earth. It was a play of nature that it got there in the first place. Just like billions of other seeds reach the soil to make themselves a home to be. The earth will nurture it. Rain and Sun will also give their aid to help the seed grow. But still how does the seed knows how to grow? Where is that higher intelligence to be found. Open a seed and I’m sure you won’t find it. Scientists can determine my Tree’s DNA. It even have some components similar to Human beings. Now we have a code of Life. But what makes it to work? It has to start somehow? And more important. How is the whole process unfolding? Light? Electricity? In the end scientists can determine the whole chain of growth. What starts the growing?

This I also could implement for my body. When I cut my finger how does it know how to heal itself? Within a few days it is cured. It didn’t cost me any time to help it healing. Amazing how the body knows how to recover itself, to feed itself, reproduce and even one day it will stop working. All by itself. I am just a watcher on the Hill. My body has its own rules. Like everything in the Awakening state rules itself, from birth to death. Still then there appears to be some deeper inside part that ‘ Knows’ . So what knows? Whats the Intelligence in all This.

It’s all a play of objects. Objects only appear from the senses. The senses work as long as the body functions. When the body is not working anymore the world and his objects seem to stop as well. Is it?

Talking about the senses. Ever tried to explain the taste of salt? Take a sniff of salt and try to taste it with your tongue. Pure salt gives you a one-time sensation. Now explain it to someone who never had the sensation of pure taste before in his Life. You only could describe the sensation of taste. So you would talk about the sensation. Lets recall: about Your sensation. The direct experience of the salt is not to describe, its immediate.

What makes the salt to be salt. Scientist can give formula’s for natrium in all shapes and seizes, but then what is the inner core that makes salt to be salt? Whats the inner core?

Remember that it’s all happening in the world of objects. The same world where  ‘your’ body, including all its wonderful senses come to shine. Its all part of the same Duality. So the leaf  is to be seen in You, the wound in your finger will get healed, appearing in you. And sure, its the sensation of the tasty salt that is to be experienced in You.

So whats the quality of You? It’s what some call God. I prefer consciousness. For me God relates to an object. Not to be seen and omnipresent, but still an unidentified object. It’s beyond God. Its You. Remember, its You.

Its You that lets the leaf grow, the wound to heal and the salt to taste. Without a dual World of Objects there is no Consciousness, no You. You always will be there. No Objects, no You. No You, no Objects. It’s very simple. You will always express yourself in a setting that lets you realise: I am. I feel, so I am. I think so I am. The whole body-mind, the Heart , it’s all there as an expression of You, and therefore it is You. It will never die and never be born.

The Object and Observer are One: like Apple sauce

Looking from behind my desk into my garden I notice my Apple tree. Its early Spring and new leaves are slowly finding their way into the world. It’s only a year ago I took some branches away to bring the tree into shape. Now the tree has a lot of small branches I’m sure there will be an abundant blossom this year.


The apples will be overall red with some yellow on it. The taste is sweet and its a joy to eat them directly or, we make some wonderful apple-sauce of it. Red coloured apple-sauce. It took some time to explain it some children that not all apple-sauce is Yellow. This thanks to our supermarkets where we consider apples to give only Yellow apple-sauce. This is how it is. Even some grown-ups I met prefer supermarkets Apple-sauce. Its Yellow, you know. And it has always the same sugar-sweet taste. Its strange, red apple-sauce. It doesn’t suit the image of apple-sauce. It’s the perspective that counts. It’s the way how you are used to comfort things in your live. You want only to have the purest apple-sauce to eat? Go for it when its feels important. No worries if you stick to the applesauce from the supermarket. On the level of existence, it doesn’t matter at all.


So what is Pure? What does matter in the End? If you are looking for an answer on ‘ Who Am I ‘ it doesn’t matter if you’re a vegetarian with strong passions for healthy food and environment or just a consumer, filling up a shopping basket with the qualifications of taste and price-value: if it’s the road to self-awareness you like follow, than that doesn’t matter at all. All whats needed is authenticity: play your role in this Life with passion. Don’t hesitate to be You. Don’t fight against yourself too much. I can promise you: if you really follow Directions Life gives you, it’s all good. No worries about you needed.


So back to the Apple tree. One day later: it’s still there. For the Eye not much has changed. Today there’s sun. The weather is better than expected. Still, the Tree is standing in the same shape, the same size, even more promises to blossom soon. What has changed are the memories on the Tree. Now I remember my grandmothers apple-tree. One day it was cut down. Only a bird house was put on a remaining part. In the end Birds could have some use of the Tree.


Now get rid of all the stories. Soon its just the feelings that remain. You will notice a smile into yourself. From your heart you will glow. Stick to that a while. You are observing the whole process. Shut your eyes and absorb all that is left. Give it no name. Now even stop the qualifications of the intensity of your glowing heart. Now its only an observer left. Open your eyes and realise that this Observer is also part of the chain of object filling space-time. One day you will get the realisation that the object and observer are One. That Yin and Yang are just an idea. From that moment there will be no difference between the Apple-tree and your memories. It all includes You.