What to do if life seems so hard on you? Sometimes you get overwhelmed by feelings full of pain, anger and destruction. At these moments you seem to be unable to do anything. At some point life can strike hard without compassion. Your life has turned into a nightmare without any expectation to escape from it. Even sometimes it happens over and over till you come at a point of: what can I do when nothing seems to be possible anymore.
First of all stop finding a solution. There is not a real solution in the outside world. It’s the other way around: your outer world will change when you learn to know how to separate the outside trigger from the inside turmoil it causes. Stop by using your spiritual tools. No living in the moment. Sure, by putting up some candlelight, incense and indian sitar-music in the presence of your friends you can get yourself into a temporary state of at ease. But he listen, if you really are going for the ‘ Who am I ‘ there is no avoiding of Pain possible. In fact, life will test you till you will surrender. That is, to the point you can bear. Guarantee. Though Pain and Suffering and the complementary worrying are very vivid emotional states, as long as you are aware of their existence: you can bear them.
Second: don’t start to deny your Pain.
A child will feel the end of the world nearing when its favorite toy is lost. A Teenager could kill himself for giving up a first Romance. A Grown-up could be devastated when a child suddenly dies of an accident. At every age, at every level of life, at all levels of so-called spiritual growth, life will let you feel to the fullest. Please don’t start with ‘live more in the moment’, . Live your Pain and let your Tears flow. Be pure and let your tears come when they want to come. That is a direct response. And if it is too much to handle, find professional help. Don’t put a roof on your house if you haven’t built up your walls properly! First things first! So when you haven’t let the fire burn down your house while meditating upon the pain of the loss of your property, instead of giving practical aid. Then we can go and see into the world of feelings.
Lets start with a simple one. Ever tried to give up smoking at once after a longtime of heavy smoking? Your heart starts to knock on high-speed while you get restless as you have never done before. It completely drives you nuts. There is no cigarette nearby, shops are closed. How long are you able to handle this?
In other words, are you watching the body dying for a smoke? Do you observe all the strange habits of the addiction? And for how long are you prepared to observe and let go? I ask you this for a reason, because it is not easy to give up smoking by just watching the cunning mind.
It’s this cunning mind that in no time gives you reason to start smoking again. Want to know a few? The nicotine-tablets don’t work, too much stress on my work this week, my partner can stand my mood, next week I’m better prepared. In a nutshell I just easily give you how most of you will react. The government, partner, parents, the stars, my bad health, my teacher, the weather, you will blame them all for your bad circumstances. It makes the circle go round. You will start smoking again, feeling yourself guilty, preparing for the next time you will stop.
Life can be good for you, it will be. So it will knock on your door more often letting you feel the same over and over, harder and louder and you will resist to look at it.
So what can you do?
While writing this part, I know I directly guide you to the heart of the matter. Giving up smoking is a good example how feelings can be so real. At the other hand I realise life can be truly overwhelming when it comes to deep and strong emotions. And they all directly pinpoint to You. So This will need another view to build the story. Therefore I will give this part a follow-up soon enough. I will explain out of my own experience how to look into feelings without identifying with the messenger. For now I would say: don’t blame the messenger; welcome him with open arms!